This week was a very hard week for me. The Hero has begun the journey, and must continue putting to death anything that will hinder from completing the journey.
I did not choose another Virtue for this week and decided to continue working on Discipline. Mark tells us in training when it comes to our Gratitude cards that we should not repeat something we have already written on these cards to be grateful for. I am thinking that the same thing would be said for choosing discipline as my virtue for this week again, but I so need to focus on this again.
The more I focused on eating properly, the more I desired all the wrong things. My habits and addictions reared their ugly heads- this is why I needed to concentrate on the chosen virtue again.
As in the training, I too had to say, ” Me? A Hero? I struggled here to believe that I am/was, “ A person, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.” The Law of Substitution tells me that, “I can instantly replace a negative thought with a positive one.” This is what I had to do when I was questioning if I really was a hero.
Replacing that, Me? A Hero? with the positive thought/reminder of one of my PPN’s- Legacy, I was able to vision myself as a hero in the future when my Legacy was established, and I was indeed living the life I describe in my Press Release. On top of this thought, I also had to apply the Law of Subconscious because I had to remember that, “My subconscious works 24-7 to manifest what I plant along with my DMP.” With these two Laws working together in my conscious mind, I was forced to realize that I was already indeed a hero, who was on her journey. This was some light on my path.
The hardest part of this week had to do with the focus on death in the training. Three stages of death were looked at-Denial-Anger-Grief- . Even though the focus was on putting to death those debilitating thoughts and actions that cripple, it was especially painful for me because it reminded me of my mother’s death two years previously.
I could actually “feel” what was being spoken about in terms of refusing to let my old self die(not doing the daily tasks), and coming up with excuses that make us/me feel justified in staying stuck. My Mom’s death is still raw for me.
There are times when I don’t want to think about it, and just pretend that she is just not at home with me at this moment because she is away visiting, but will come home, rather than she is never coming home. My denial, my anger that it happened, and the grief I feel deep in my soul is somewhat described in the lesson.
I know I am stuck and feel sad, but at this time I am not ready to “let go” as Mark J encourages us to. I understand what being stuck in mind feels like. I understand and experience what happens when I am in denial, or choose to stay in grief, and, “… it is a very hard place to be.” I am waiting to experience the “cool place to be..” that the lesson also describes.
To be candid here, I could not focus on being the Greatest Salesman this week. I flashed my cards some of the times, I struggled to find 3 gratitudes daily, I did not “sit” every day, and I hardly “moved.”
I am hopeful though, and believe that the payoff is going to be massive when I just keep moving, and work through my grief and sadness. Mark J asks, ” Are you in or are you out?” I am in! I am the Greatest Salesman, I am nature’s greatest Miracle!
“ I always keep my Promises!