This picture perfectly describes how I felt in Week 5. I did not feel like myself, I did not look like myself, I was Not myself, because I was ill!
Needless to say, I was not able to plug into the training or the exercises, so just like the man in the picture walking away from someone, or something, I felt totally disconnected from everything! The pounding headaches and the coughing made it almost impossible to sit still quietly, to complete my service, to interact with “Subby”, or any of the other things I was to do. I thought “Rona” had visited me, but it was not her- thank God for that!
The one thing I relished doing this time was to ‘ not have an opinion” on anything. This allowed me to keep quiet, and others to try not talking to me. When hubby tried to engage me in any conversation, I was very happy to say, ” I am not allowed to have an opinion” even when none was requested of me.
As a result of my inactivity, my Blog entry is just being done, my Press Release was not completed until today, and my DMP was not revised until yesterday. I am behind on everything, and still waiting to start Week 6. My coach, Jane, was able to encourage me to, ” Do it now!” and continue doing it until it was all done. I am still doing catch-up, but because I always keep my Promises, it will all be done before Week 7 starts on Sunday.
I am understanding more and seeing the effects of what a change in thinking can do when a setback takes place. Because I am speaking more positively, and not allowing external pressures to define who or what I am and capable of doing, my reflex is more instant to get back in the game. Mark’s statement, ” Screw the River, Cement Buddha,” resonates with me as I get caught up .
I am getting it done, now! I always keep my Promises!
I can feel your struggle as you step one step in front of the other in the sand that sinks under your feet. The image you have chosen beautifully reflects the sluggish slog of pulling yourself forward despite the environment making things challenging. I love your dedication to keep putting one step in front of the other, and your excuse about not sharing ‘opinions’ for not interacting with your husband made me laugh.
I look forward to reading the rest of your posts. Keep taking those steps and moving forward. You’ll find as if by magic you will catch up, just keep doing the work. You will reap a great benefit!!
Naila, You see it, and you get it! Moving forward in a difficult time one step at a time to reach a desired end, does feel like your feet sinking in the sand- things get shifted and you feel the muscles working, but you still keep going. Your words encourage me to keep writing and follow this dream of mine.
You can be what you will to be! You got this!
Thanks, Tina. It is fun knowing this!