It is advantageous and crucial for women to create wealth in this day and age, so they can have a better life. I am coming from the position of a woman who is presently interacting with and reacting to some trending news from “Nollywood” in Nigeria, Africa.
Story Behind Why Women Must Create their Own Wealth
Let me explain, and describe why I feel so strongly about the need for women to create their own financial wealth.
I tend to watch a lot of African movies out of Nollywood. I recently completed the 123 And Me DNA Ancestry Test and found out that my highest percentage of ancestors originated from West Africa and Nigeria in particular. Maybe this is the reason I watch so many of these movies
The story that got my blood boiling had to do with one of the famous, married African actors, going on social media to declare that he had married the mother of his out-of-wedlock son, and taken her as a “second wife.” The manner in which he made this declaration, I was soon to find out came about abruptly because a well-known Nigerian blogger was about to reveal his secret, and he decided to do it first.
More information later revealed that like the rest of the world, his legally married wife found out about his new wife and son, the same way and same time, on social media.
When I heard this, I could empathize with the pain, embarrassment, and shame his wife must have been experiencing. In her shoes, I too would have been the “1st Wife.” I have to admit that I actually felt pain in my heart for her, and a deep feeling of hate towards her husband.
I started to think about the wife and hoped with all my heart that if she needed to, she was financially able to separate herself from her husband because she had seen the importance of creating her own financial wealth.
Following the story more, I discovered that she was an entrepreneur, and had been building her own wealth while being married, which is an anomaly in Africa, a vastly patriarchal society, that view wives as property.
Reason It is Important for Women to Create their own Financial Wealth
I have always believed that women should have something of their own. They should not go into marriages being totally dependent on their husbands or significant other. Why? Jeremiah 17:9-10, clearly states why- “Because the heart of man is desperately wicked and deceitful, who can know it?”
The stated story just reinforced my belief and conviction because even though we pray and hope for the best in our marriages- we all want, “until death us do part, and for richer.. “. This is not always the case. We see and hear stories all the time about marriages falling apart.
The woman ends up with a lesser quality of life because she was totally dependent, and in some cases, the husbands are punitive especially if she left for a valid reason, and try to make her life difficult. Therefore, it is imperative to have a safety net. Here are a few reasons why she should create her own wealth:
- Creating own wealth offers independence. I am not talking about independence that is unhealthy for the marriage where the feeling is I can do whatever, or go wherever I want, whenever I want. There should always be collaboration in decisions between husband and wife, but there are times when having your own allows for the wife’s individuality. In my own case, I have a few extra charities I contribute to that are dear to my heart, that my husband does not necessarily care about. I can give without it being a problem.
- Creating own wealth reduces Fear of future-rejection or divorce. At the back of everyone’s mind when they get married is- “will it last?” The what-ifs bombard our thoughts in the midst of the confidence and hope we have for the future. Knowing that financially we as women can have a jumpstart in the eventuality of a break, reduces the stress of the fear that we will not be able to cope or survive.
- Creating own wealth is Empowering because it increases negotiating power. Let us face it. Just like in the boardroom at work, or in any other decision-making situation, money talks. A woman being able to contribute to a very nice family vacation, or have a say in some other family decision because she can help, makes a world of difference. In this situation also, if the relationship is a healthy one, the husband will feel proud of her. Some of his stress will also be relieved to know that if anything happens to him, his wife can manage.
- Creating own wealth builds Self-esteem and self-worth. This reason is the most important for me. I have encountered several women, who because of their total dependence on their husbands, and feel that they have to ask for everything they need, their self-esteem and self-worth have been eroded. I am not saying that all the husbands make their wives feel like children having to come to them, but there are some who want total control of their wives. When a woman feels she has some control, I can tell you, her self-esteem and self-worth soar because she feels valued, and an equal partner in the relationship.
I know there are probably more reasons than I have listed for why it is important for women to create their own financial wealth. This takes me back to the story and the wife I mentioned earlier.
Having her own wealth, enabled her to stand firm in telling her husband that she will not accept sharing her marriage with his chosen 2nd wife. She was also able through her pain to maintain the functions of her household with her four children, while her husband was gallivanting with his new wife and child.
The ensuing events of her life during this trying time in her life encouraged me greatly. As an entrepreneur, she honed her skills and garnered some endorsements from major cosmetic companies. She was also able to celebrate with friends and acquaintances, who were proud of her resilience, and happy that she was not sitting in a corner feeling crushed while waiting for her husband to acknowledge her, and offer her a bone.
If this wife had failed to build her financial wealth while being married, her story would have been so very different. Her self-esteem would have been in the gutter, and I would also think that with the perceived arrogance of her husband, he would have enjoyed having her still come to him begging for mere necessities.
I recently came across this poem in my research that is so relevant to the point I am making. It states:
A Woman’s best protection is a little money of her own.Clare Booth Luce, American author and US Ambassador
In a nutshell, I am appealing to you, women like myself, that there is nothing wrong with having a safety net, even if you have a great husband or partner in your life. In Jamaica where I am from there is an expression we sometimes use- “Take sleep and mark death.” This idiom means we should observe what is happening around us, and allow it to guide our decisions. Like the image below says, ” It is Time To Start Making Money!”
The wife in the story is on the right track, as are many others. To share a little more of her story- her husband has proved himself to be so dishonorable, and she has continued to hold her head high focusing on that which will make her a better, stronger person. My desire for you reading this article and myself is that we will indeed, “Take sleep and mark death!” This is so dear to my heart that I will create other posts showing the many ways we can create wealth for a better life.
Since my thoughts for this post came from an incident in Africa, I checked to see who were the African women who were not afraid to create their own wealth. Women who were not afraid, in the midst of a patriarchial society with “evolving” views of the men folk, regarding their wives working and having their own money. I came across this very inspiring, interesting and encouraging book. I think you will enjoy reading it. Check it out.
I always keep my promises!
Let’s talk some more about this. Any thoughts, emotions, or ideas? I would love to hear them!